I feel a tiny hand gently stroking my back behind me. I sit in the mirror in just my knickers staring at my reflection, watching the way my body twists and turns, looking at my operation scars and wondering how to start putting my face on. Noah is galloping around the room behind me and has stopped to nuzzle into my skin. He is still and warm, and so careful to be delicate with me. I turn to touch his face. ‘Do you love me?’ ‘Yes Mummy.’ ‘And do you know you are the most perfect thing in this huge crazy universe?’ ‘Yes Mummy.’ ‘So you always remember how perfect you are, nothing else in the world matters as long as you stay beautiful and pure.’ ‘Yepp.’
He will understand, but right now I thrive in his youth. His beautiful young hands, glowing lion mane and endless cheekiness in his curiosity, sometimes landing him in trouble.
I turn back to look at my body. I study my ink, the imperfections and marks on my skin and stare into my own eyes, wondering how well I know the stranger in front of me. Pretty damn well really, but recently I’ve terrified myself with how unpredictable I can be. I need to cut it out and screw my head on. Noah takes a running jump on my back and kisses the skin on my neck. He buries himself into my dreadlocks and I stare at him in the mirror. The glow from his skin, the oceans in his eyes, that perfect face peeking from my shoulder. I can’t help but smirk and kiss him face over and over till he tells me off.
This was originally an event strictly to do with events and how I’m developing professionally, but as the year has developed. Events became my life, so it was difficult to separate them professionally. I can’t wait to get back into them. Do more and become better and better. I haven’t posted much to do with anything as I’ve been working on bigger things for longer period of time, but once again, bear with me.
I hear him bellow ‘Let it go! Let it go!’ from behind the wine red room divider in my bedroom. I join in and he comes to me, throwing himself across my lap. He lies in my arms, clearly getting frustrated with the lack of attention while it’s taking me too long to put my face on.
I went to the exchange on Wednesday, what a wonderful night. Loomer, Sour Mandy and River Jumpers. I was so happy to see so many people I haven’t been in contact with for a long while. Watching from my bubble I adore these people and I thank them. Just for turning up so I can be surrounded. Obviously not for me, just a good job I decided to go. A passionate evening I never would have dreamed of. In my head anyway. I have wonderful friends, I really do. I take one last look at my body in the mirror. My wonderful, far from perfect, motherly body and smile. Why did I ever care for perfection? Who gives a fuck.
Lana del Rey is singing to me through the laptop, I stand and put a pretty dress on. Nude lace. The small one runs over again with a little cry, he holds out his hand and I kiss it and smile. ‘All better.’ After you become a parent, you have an incredible magic ability to kiss little accidents better. Like anyone else, I have lots of secrets, but I appreciate my life, I truly do. I’m getting a lot of cuddles this morning too. That makes the world turn.
SO YEAH. Another pointless post. Just have a wonderful day everyone and take a minute to think about the incredible things in your life.
E & N.
X
Fascinating Occasions 🌙 