Not a failure anymore.
I have my high ups and deep downs but at least I’m present.
When I’m happy I’m so happy I could explode.
When I’m overwhelmed, tired and feeling lonely it’s almost like I’m dying.
I dive into my emotions and let them to guide me.
I’m on the exact path I should be on.
Motherhood is that something that makes me complete with all its challenges.
I feel like I’m connected to this Planet much more than ever.
Now I do feel the importance of womanhood.
– Kat (http://www.motherhoodrising.com)
I cannot relate more to this.
So ladies and gentlemen, this is me today. Shitty webcam pictures but contemplating. Pure, honest and strong. I’ve taken a day out to indulge in my own mind in my haven. This house is a treasure of secrets, memories, love and every element represents a story and everywhere I see Noah. He should be home shortly. I’ve taken this time to understand myself a little better. To question the job I’ve been doing as a Mother and quite brutally analyse my previous decisions. Time away from him has been true agony. The love you have for a child is not pretty or cute or simple. It’s terrifying and so strong it burns you inside out. You would never ever stop for that child as they are everything pure in yourself and that other person. They are a soul that has chosen you to guide and protect them, that has known you longer than you’ve known yourself. A lover, a parent, a best friend, a favorite creature from many previous lives.
Parent’s are meant to protect, guide and unconditionally love their babies. I have done my damn hardest to show him all the beauty and passion in the world even when I’ve been at my absolute lowest. Because when you’re unwell, down or whatever it is. Nothing should stop you. Nothing in the world should stop you being the most incredible person for your children. Nothing. Noah Scott is my soul mate.
I’ve been purifying myself. Doing things that are good for the soul and planning wonderful adventures for when my child returns. I have lots to write about and not enough time. Beautiful days I’ve been blessed with that I’m yet to share with you.
Just be patient.
Mother, Lover, Survivor.